Beneath Yellowstone Park a monstrous plume of hot rock is causing the earth to heave and tremble. Past volcanoes have erupted with a thousand times the power of Mount St. Helens. The future is anybody’s guess. — When Yellowstone Explodes, National Geographic, August 2009
It’s two days before we leave for an adventure trip to Jackson Hole and then on to Yellowstone. For those of you who don’t know me personally, let me assure you that I am not an adventure traveler. An old boyfriend once said that his idea of camping was a Holiday Inn. For me, it might be a Hyatt. So what do we do on this adventure trip? The very thought has been keeping me up at night.
Tubing? Nope. Horseback riding? Wouldn’t do that to a horse. White water rafting? Not on your life. Climbing? Hah! I saw ads in the mountain country guides for bungee trampolining and tandem paragliding. Won’t be doing either of those. Rope me a ranger tour and I’m yours. I’ll take an easy-to-moderate walking tour that lasts less than two hours — the approximate time it takes before my feet start to fall asleep (the perils of the wide-foot walker). Best of all, put me in a boat on a lake and I’m a happy girl.
I’ve have sought these activities out and hope I can convince my much-higher-risk-than-I husband and sister-in-law that these are the best options. Oh — and I am, under no circumstances, sleeping in a tent, no matter how quaint and authentic the propaganda makes that sound. Bears have claws, people, and bison can charge a tent at 35 m.p.h. and then we are lunch.
It’s paragraphs like this one in the guidebooks that make me want to stay in bed:
“Wyoming’s wide open spaces offer limited opportunities to purchase food and fuel. Before starting out, consult a road map to plan your fuel and refreshment stops. Once on the road, fuel stops are often farther apart than travelers might realize. And watch for livestock and wildlife on the highways, particularly at dawn and dusk when many animals are most active.” — National Historic Trails: Auto Tour Route Interpretive Guide Across Wyoming, NPS 2007
And my favorite, from the same source:
“Cell phone coverage is spotty all across Wyoming. If you choose to drive back roads, do not count on summoning help in case of emergency. Go prepared. Check your tires, carry a spare and a road map, leave pets at home, take food and water, and be ready to hike back to the highway, if necessary.”
Gentle readers, I do not want to have to gnaw off my arm a la James Franco, nor do I want to have a close encounter with a grizzly or a bison. Why the hell did I say yes to this trip? Because it will make for good copy if I survive? I guess. I survived Yosemite last year; maybe luck will be with me again this year. On the other hand, the biggest fear at Yosemite was that a rogue sequoia would fall on me. This time’s a little different, since this is the season when the animals come down from the higher elevations to fatten up for the upcoming winter hibernation. But not on me, I hope.
It’s times like this that I realize just what a city girl I really am. My sister-in-law says we have to go shopping tomorrow for food to keep in a cooler because food and drink opportunities are few and far between on the road, and the ones that do exist charge extortionate prices. Really? And she keeps talking about cute cabins that we can all share, some of which have indoor plumbing (I think she’s kidding about the plumbing). Again — really? Oh, and my ears haven’t stopped popping since Friday night. I’m not good above sea level and drink approximately 3,000 gallons of water a day to stay vertical.
Quaking Aspens outside of Park City (Sin City) Utah (me, too)
Tim and I have spent the past few days exploring the Park City-Salt Lake City area while his sister works. We tracked down the cemetery where their relatives are buried — the ones they didn’t even know they had five years ago — the first Jewish settlers to Utah (that will be a whole other post). And we found the Brooks Arcade, the building his great-great-uncle put up in 1891 in Salt Lake. We went to the Park Silly Market and bought delicious olive oil and salt bread, a red pepper spread and a silver necklace for me. We did some outlet shopping, where Tim got some great shoes. I got a few short-sleeved t-shirts because I seem to have packed for Iceland in February rather than Utah in September. Maybe it’s just unseasonably warm here this year, but I’m very happy with the outcome. It probably won’t hold out in Wyoming, but that will be the least of my worries, right?
I’ll be optimistic and say that I’ll tell you all about it in a few weeks. Keep your fingers crossed . . .
Buon viaggio!
Linda Dini Jenkins is a card-carrying Italophile, travel planner, freelance writer, and amateur photographer. Travel is her passion, so writing about her travels just comes naturally. She hopes all her travelers find a way to express their joys, surprises, and fears as they travel and gives every traveler a nifty journal to help smooth the way. Learn more…
